WHEN SHOULD I START DATING?

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Today’s topic is gonna be an interesting one. Distinct physiognomies of humans as intellectuals have portrayed an interesting side that’s yet to be fully utilized on everyone’s part. Man is created naturally to spice life up with these potent assets granted by his creator. That’s why man is typically different from animals. That you have eyes, hands or nose does not make you a human being. After all, goats and dogs too have got these same physical features in them. What differentiates us from other species is the fact that we were constructed to use our lofty intellectual capacities in a way that is unheard of in the history of the world.

However, it appears man begins to lose this boundless power to achieve this as he becomes lackadaisical in his pursuit in life. It’s the reason why so many of us have many unanswered questions in our hearts but are unwilling to provide panacea for them. One of those questions will sure be answered today. And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Incidentally, that’s the motto of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) in the United States.

One of the most asked questions is the issue of when one should start dating. Over 204,589 answers have been provided on this simple but germane question. Today, I am going to take you into the excursion of a potential relationship. Now, there are two types of love according to mentor, Leke Alder; the SENTIMENTAL love and the DUTIFUL love. An understanding of this provides us an insight into answering this question. Here is my answer; you are ready to start dating the day you are able to match ROMANCE with WISDOM or MATURITY. That sounds too simple for such a question right? Just relax and keep reading. I’m gonna expatiate.

The first, Romance. Many people, especially from the religious angle enter relationship without having romance for their partners. Such a dangerous perception, you say! The problem with such people is that they struggle with moral challenges and wrong definition of the subject. It’s the reason why spiritually, they are on fire but emotionally, they are struggling with a repugnant control system called the withholding of affection. We were literally told to marry someone of the same faith as ours. Listen, you can’t be more spiritual than the Holy Spirit himself and you can’t be more catholic than the Pope. Being in a relationship you are not romantically attracted to is practically unhealthy! It can end you in a mental asylum!

What then is romance? Very good question. Romance is the softener of the harsh realities of the business called life. Romance is not something extraordinary. It is those little things and little moments we re-create even when we are not with our partners. Romance is what makes the systolic flush of the heart flutter. Romance is the deep appreciation of your courtesan in the unspoken language of love. Romance is you cleaning the lipstick error she made while doing her make-up rituals with your handkerchief. Romance is the ritual between a guy and a lady. Romance is the text message you send to her constantly affirming your continuous love for her. Romance is that little surprise gift you bought for her at Ikeja City Mall; that surprise chocolate, that surprise household item, that surprise wristwatch, that surprise video you made for her and of course, that surprise surprise!

Romance is the appreciation of her fashion intelligence even if it seems a colour blocking or an ‘Okrika’ clothes. Romance is the acquisition of vocabulary to describe the grandeur of her beauty. Romance is the regurgitation of the mental consumption with hagiographic imageries of your girlfriend. Romance is that small but deep love card you make for her on Valentine’s day. Romance is making her feel super special among her peers. Romance is the caring and giving, the intimate exchange of affection. Romance is you two holding hands together while walking. Romance is that affectionate hug she gives you for constantly reminding her she’s the best. Romance is her head being placed on your chest while She’s eating popcorn and watching Fast and Furious 7 or The boyfriend’s girlfriend at the Silverbird Gallery. Romance is both of you in your private island called love, shutting your minds to the busyness of life. Romance is the appreciation of her new physique, her new shoes, her new make-up skills. Romance is that ‘thank you’ she tells you after putting on her, your neck chain. Romance is absolutely more than what you think it is!

Let’s get down to the other equation, maturity. Africa’s conception of maturity is probably deficient. Maturity is not the amassing of beards under the chin, it’s not the claiming of superiority over the lady because of her mild stature. What also is maturity? Maturity is the always forgiving attitude even when she does something stupid. Maturity is the appreciation of her culinary skills even when the ‘maggi’ is too much in the food. Maturity is when she exhausts your perfume and you still appreciate the smell of the cologne on her dress. Maturity is the smile you put on, when she exhausts your call card to call her best friend without informing you. Maturity is you making her feel secure anytime she’s around you. Maturity is enduring all those unnecessary and emotional talks due to her garrulous and voluble attitudes. Maturity is trying to understand why she behaves in a childish way due to mood swings. Maturity is you calling her one more time despite missing 35 calls of yours.

Maturity is the understanding behaviour you display when his female friends are gathered around him. Maturity is the I’m sorry, the please, the thank you that truly comes from the bottom of your heart. Maturity is the hug you give her even when she deserves some little spanking. Maturity is comprehending why she came 7:15 pm for a 5 pm date with you. Maturity is that display of the gentleman in you. It’s the opening of the door for her, it’s helping her do a task when she’s tired. It’s the calm attitude you display when she does her make-up rituals for 1hour. Maturity is not taking undue advantage of her due to her nature. Maturity is understanding sex outside marriage is a bad idea despite the cravings of its desires. Maturity is the ability to keep his secrets and vulnerabilities. It’s the overlooking of each other’s wrong doings and letting nothing gets between you. Maturity is turning the TV channel while watching El-Classico to a Bollywood or Korean movie just to satify her. Maturity is putting each other first, putting your selfish desires out of the equation of dating.

If you can’t get to this point, you aren’t ready to start dating. Never forget, marriage is not a transformation agenda. It’s no substitute for a failed courtship. It’s better to assume the guy you’re dating is the one you’ll be married to. Put these things into your relationship and you gonna be happy for the rest of your life.

Thanks for reading!

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